Beauty

The stationary bike was on the main deck, port side of a Navy “Gator Freighter,” cruising the Arabian Gulf while I waited for my next mission. This is where I learned how critical beauty is to my ability to perform.

As the lead Sniper, I was separated from my platoon so I had 24/7 access to the helo assets I required to protect them. Every night the call would come in and I’d rush to load the helicopter’s radios with our special crypto key so I could establish secret communications with my assault team below. I’d quickly rig the helicopter in a way that would allow me to hang myself out its door should the need to engage any targets arise.

The hours were unpredictable. Sleep was hit and miss. Not looking, smelling, or moving like a regular ship sailor, I stood out. People stared at me as I walked the halls, ate my food, slept in their berthing compartments during the day when they were awake. As a very active pack animal type, I could feel the zoochosis burning me up from the inside out.

Luckily she was close by.

The loneliness was taking a toll on me. If it weren’t for that stationary bike that someone had the good sense to place on a walkway on the outside of the ship, I don’t know how long I would have lasted. Not the bike. The view. She became a sort of mistress to me.

A beauty that called to me every morning as the helicopter returned me to the ship just before the sun came up. Though I was exhausted from the night’s operations, I’d still make my way to that bike. I’d turn on some reggae, settle into the saddle, and just ride as I stared out over the endless ocean and watched the sunrise.

After my time with her, I’d return to the reality of being the lonely outsider on the ship. Surrounded by people, but completely alone.

Some food, a shower, then I’d make my way through the staring faces, climb into some stranger’s empty rack, and fall asleep only to wake a few hours later ready for the next mission.

As an entrepreneur, my relationship with beauty became spotty. I’d get locked on to my work. Stopping to take the time to be with her felt more extravagant than I deserved or needed. For a while my life had become only about the mission. No rest, no breaks, one thing to the next.

I eventually forgot about her, and a high op tempo took her place and I began to weaken. It left me dependent on trashy habits to get through my day. Non-stop work, caffeine, junk food, staying up late, alcohol. Weakness slipped into destruction. I had to get her back.

I knew that just touching beauty would bring me back to life and recharge my batteries. She had never failed to launch me back into the fight more ready and more violent than I was when I left it. All good things. But I’ve since learned there’s much more to her.

What happens is we eventually fall in love with the beauty we expose ourselves to. A favorite point break, a lake, a mountain range, a trail by the house, a long run, a new mountain bike. She consumes us. And when she does, she pushes out the busywork as well as the meaningless thoughts and activities that have been in our way of living meaningful lives. She’s protective that way. This is when her real power comes in.

Those meaningless thoughts and activities produce fatigue, boredom, and diffusion. When they are replaced by her and she takes up residence, she inoculates us with high doses of energy and excitement. She gives us something better to do that also makes us better at being who we were meant to be.

But like any powerful relationship, she’ll require your time and attention. You have to buy her stuff (gear), bring her to new places regularly (travel), and keep things fresh and exciting (new activities) to keep her fire stoked. She’s only going to burn as hot as the fuel you feed her. And you need her smoking hot if she’s going to keep your time and attention.

In Tim Ferriss’s book “The 4-Hour Workweek” there was a single sentence that redefined both love and happiness for me. I believe it describes both the how and the why of having beauty in our lives.

“The opposite of love is indifference, and the opposite of happiness is boredom.”

Whatever beauty you tap into has to burn brighter than all of the unnecessary garbage that likely occupies your attention and time. You can’t be indifferent to her. Like the sunset, the reggae, and that stationary bike in the Arabian Gulf, she’ll demand that she matters enough for you to come back to her every day, every time you complete a mission.

But this is no one-way street. She’s got a job to do and she loves doing it. She has to keep you entertained, excited, far from bored. You have to matter to her as well. Because without you, she has no meaning. She’s just light, sound, and sensation.

Like any healthy relationship, she and I need regular alone time during the week. But it’s also important that we periodically get away from it all and re-stoke the fire.

So this weekend, go find her and take her out. It can be anything from your favorite sidewalk to the top of a mountain. It doesn’t matter. Because beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder.

Now go find her.

Eric